What great times we live in. Now it is possible to fly from London to New York and back in a 24-hour period. The ease of catching a flight from Los Angeles, and the next time your feet touch Terra Firma you’re the other side of the globe in Tokyo… just unfortunate that your luggage is in Mozambique!
The human race has made gigantic steps forward when it comes to travel, by land, sea and air. It’s just unfortunate that there are those individuals who have not yet made the quantum leap into the 21st century and still insist on travelling like they are participating in the California gold rush.
There was a time that travelling anywhere was an experience to be savoured. The anticipation of the big day, getting dressed in your Sunday best, trying to cram everything that you needed for that two-week holiday into a suitcase the size of a matchbox, The mad dash to the airport that necessitated your parents wake you at 0-dark:30…“Just in case there’s a queue” my dad used to say.
The terrible angst that my mother had: “Did you cancel the milk and the paper? Are you sure that we turned off the kettle? Have we got the passports and tickets?” The list goes on and on.
For us kids squeezed into the back seat burdened down like pack mules, it seemed as if we were preparing for a military campaign, the likes of which Genghis Khan would have been proud to call his own.
Ah yes! but finally here we are… the Airport. For a young child a magical place full of sights and sounds, people of all different shapes, sizes and nationalities, a veritable smorgasbord of humanity. But for the parents the nightmare was just beginning. The parking, trying to find someplace close enough to the terminal that did not entail a separate flight. Attempting to corral three kids together in a manageable group, without one of us ending up on a flight to Karachi by accident.
But I digress. The reason for my talking about travel is that being a frequent globetrotter and working in the industry, I get to meet and interact with a wide variety of the travelling public. On the whole, most are well-behaved. mild-mannered, and good-natured about the whole travel experience. But there is a very select group that manages to cover the whole social, economic spectrum of humanity. They’re fairly easy to pick out. They are the business travellers that insist, “I absolutely must carry my golf clubs and laptop into the cabin.” Then everyone else has to endure a hefty delay while the flight attendant explains to them, “The overhead compartment is just a little bigger than a bread box, Sir.”
Then there are the people who, just as the aircraft wheels make contact with the ground, are up, out of their seats and are getting ready to sprint to the exit like Jesse Owens. Come on now. Just wait a while. It’s not like you can go anywhere, is it really?
Then there are those that look as if they have just come directly from Woodstock. If you’re going to sit in an enclosed tube next to me for eight hours, let me introduce you to my friend, deodorant. Alas, there are those folks who think that their holiday plans must involve turning up at the departure gate after spending the previous 10 hours getting suitably lubricated at the Airport bar. They try to persuade the gate agent that even though their eyes are as bloodshot as Oliver Reed’s on a good day, and the overpowering smell of beer is “not me,” and that they should be allowed to fly. Perhaps not!
There is an unwritten rule about flying that most frequent travellers abide by. But for those who are not familiar with it let me reiterate:
Don’t be a jerk.
Play by the rules; they are there for your protection.
If you insist on acting like the fool then, may I suggest the bus, or better still, stay home and watch the Travel Channel.
Real Travel Adventures 