“Pyro Heaven In Barcelona, Spain by Bob Koff”

Hola fuego fans,

Around New Year’s was yet another festival, whose name escapes me but was probably something like fiesta de la asphalt, and we did a little celebrating too. My favorite part was a somewhat recurring theme from past fiestas of racing through the streets with tubes spewing fire, perhaps to resurrect the family fun of coming out to watch folks burned at the stake. The attached photo was a little tough to interpret, but my best guess was that it was a lesson that showed how playing with matches sure can be fun if you spray the flames at everyone’s head! This exercise, to seek out future candidates for flame thrower training where you get to really handle some firepower, was carried out in the streets for about an hour. For some reason, we didn’t see the appeal of guys just wanting to blow up their friends in a city sponsored event, and chose to watch from the sidelines.

The rest of the week was pretty mild by comparison, with little gunfire or bombs going off like in the rest of the civilized world. We’re pretty cozy in our apartment now, and haven’t even had to deal with the real estate lady, who we now refer to as “Her whose name is not spoken.” We tried in vain to return an unwanted cordless phone to our favorite state run company, Telefonica, but the sales lady, who graduated with honors with a degree in making up excuses to get rid of pesky customers, told her that it was such an old model that they couldn’t take it back. We explained that they had delivered it just a month ago, but Ms “Just say No” responded that Telefonica is so technologically advanced that often they don’t even hook up phone lines because they know that mental telepathy is just around the corner. So we have a new addition to our communications center, and if you think programming a cordless phone is tough, try doing one with instructions in Spanish.