Hilarious RV Experiences in Nine Countries!

by Bonnie and Bill Neely. Public domain image from Pixnio.com

Excerpt from book “Real Ventures: Did We Really Do That?” By Bonnie Burgess Neely

Our family of three adults, two children and an infant traveling through Mexico in summer:

In Mexico City we found an RV park, complete with people and a laundromat, and settled into the business of the night: Bill headed out with our dirty clothes and a book (the choice job!); Jim proceeded to make up all the beds, a twice- daily, difficult chore. For the most part, one must lie on the bed while attempting to tuck in sheets and blankets. The exhausting task requires the urgent motivation of absolute necessity for sleep, the gyrations of every muscle in the body, and a strong four-letter vocabulary! Jim needed a helmet to protect his bumped head when making the bed over the cab, the duty which ranked next to the most hated job of each evening, second only to dealing with dump stations!

To shower in our little vehicle required adults fully clothed in the thirty-inch square space, shutting the door, wriggling out of clothes without bending over completely, (because there was not enough room to do so,) throwing the clothes out a cautiously cracked doorway, and sitting on the closed toilet to use the handheld shower to get wet all over. Next one had to shut off the water to spare it, since our water tank held only forty gallons. Next task was to soap all over, then quickly rinse, creating a lake on the bathroom floor and getting every surface damp. Each night I would forget to light the hot water heater fifteen minutes before my shower, and by the time I felt the cold water hit me, it was too late!

I hung my towel on a high rack during the shower process, and the trick was to keep it dry. If that was successful, the towel was the only ONLY thing left dry in the entire room. After drying myself, I had to wipe down the whole bathroom for the next person. Then I could reach around the door and hope I had left a robe within dry reach.

Mom’s nightly duty with the children, who thought the process was fun, occasionally, when more than “spit” baths were necessary. It was impossible for an adult to help them, so those showers ended up with water everywhere outside and inside the bathroom. Most of the time, I opted to have them bathe with wet paper towels, and they used medical alcohol on a paper towel for dirty feet. That method worked well, and bath time for them except for a mistake one only makes once: “YEOW!” meant someone forgot and used alcohol on the wrong personal part!

Baby Tommy was well now, after very serious altitude sickness in Mexico City, and sleeping soundly in his sling-style baby bed. We were happily rolling along through the beautiful scenery of the Chiapas, halfway between Mexico City and Oaxaca. Pamela and Blake were having fun at the table (which had been raised each morning to convert from their sofa bed,) drawing pictures of our latest adventure. We had promised to add photos later when they were developed. In those days, there were no electronics in vehicles or Internet, so our children learned to entertain themselves and each other by being creative. They retold stories about things we had done, or which they wished or imagined we had done. Blake had also an imaginary playmate named “Cowboy Bob,” to whom he told many tales. Pamela, a little more grown up at nearly nine, liked talking to Jim and sometimes endlessly babbled to her patient uncle. An artist by nature, Jim gave the kids ideas of creative things to occupy them on the long drives.

But this ride was not to be so long. Bill steered the suddenly wildly swerving RV to a stop as quickly as he could pull off the road. We had had a blowout. A rear tire was stripped, and the men searched for our spare. As they struggled on the mountain side to get the smaller tire onto the RV, they were each thankful for the other’s companionship and help. Bill drove us slowly and carefully to the first little village to buy another tire. He found what appeared to be a garage. It at least had a gasoline pump and tools in evidence and some men in grease-streaked white attire. Bill and Jim got out to try to remember enough Spanish and hand motions to reveal our predicament.

The children and I stayed in the camper. In this tiny town, perhaps no one had ever seen an RV or even Americans, so we quickly became the object of curiosity as the fascinated villagers gathered. I began making sandwiches in our little kitchen, knowing my family would be hungry soon. The camper had a small window over the only counter space, and I was spreading mayonnaise on bread there. I looked out and saw many children of all ages gathering to peer in at us. They began holding out their hands and pleading, “Dame pan! Dame pan!” (“Give me bread!”) I could not see where Bill and Jim were, and I was scared by this crowd of youngsters, so I quickly pulled the shade down and locked the doors. Now, many decades later, I still carry the burden of guilt for not being able to help them. I keep remembering the Bible verse in which Jesus said, “In as much as you have fed the least of these, you have fed me.”

The afternoon wore on, and still I did not see Bill and Jim, but I knew they must have found help. After a few hours, they returned to inform me that the tire repair would take a while. The local men had indicated that this small village was far from any other civilization and supplies, and this enclave in the middle of sand and cacti did not have a tire the right size, although they had searched everywhere. These innovative, creative, and kind Mexican men had determined to make the largest tire they could find fill our need. They had worked and worked to stretch the small tire over the rim of our blown tire to serve as a spare until we could reach a larger town. Yes! We could make it! When the Mexicans had succeeded in this challenging task, it was growing dark and the next town was far away, so the village police invited us to stay in front of their little adobe office overnight. We paid the many kind helpers generously and were so grateful for a place to rest and sleep soundly. We felt like Mary and Joseph in the Bible must have felt when they were given the stable for shelter.

Our true adventures in various RV’s during holidays over the next 47 years will keep you entertained by armchair travel through 9 countries, all over USA and Canada in all the National Parks. Readers sometimes gasp and frequently laugh out loud, as we take you on our exciting RV experiences during which Bill drove the equivalent of 3 trips to the MOON, or 25 times around Earth’s Equator!